The Stress Release

What is this feeling

What is this feeling?

It feels as if someone is squeezing my heart

There is a lump in my throat

Am I hurt ?

Am I depressed from the feeling of no longer having you by my side as I take this plane ride?

Don't you dare let this tear fall!

Keep your composure.

I keep telling myself this as I ride in the cab to my hotel.

Pain I am now feeling.

My heart is racing.

How I long before I get out of this cab.

Walking to my hotel room my pain gets stronger.

I was just fine before I decided to take this trip.

The trip that we agreed to take together.

The trip that I thought would rekindle our forever.

I walk into my room.

The tears immediately begin to fall.

I sit on the foot stool and I place my face into my palms.

Another failed relationship.

I move from the stool to the love seat and I curl up in the fetal position.

Letting my tears fall, I can't get myself together.

How?

Why?

What is it about me?

Am I not worthy of .....?

I need a drink.

I get myself up and walk to the bathroom.

Taking a cold washcloth, and pressed it against my face.

Looking into the mirror I face my red eyes and long face.

One cake and pineapple I tell the bartender.

Another I request after drowning my pain into the alcohol I've consumed.

I walk back to my hotel.

It's only 4 pm

I'd rather sulk 

I’m somber

I open my eyes, it's 3am

I close them and soon awakened

It's 8am

What is this feeling?

It's getting over you.